Drifting in Limbo

You tried to ignore the chirping at first. You pull the sheets tighter around yourself and bury your head in a pillow. You’re warm and comfortable, but that little buzzing sound wants you to leave this bliss. It slowly rises louder and louder, prompting you to throw your hand out into the cold and fish around for the snooze button. You hit it, and the noise stops, but you know that it is going to come back all too soon.    

You begin to think of all of the things you are meant to do today. Through all of them, you don’t know if any of them will make you as happy as you are here and now. You open your eyes just long enough to grab your phone and check what the time is. Too early, you decide. Sadly, as you check you are able to see all of the reminders on your phone. Appointments and emails, all those important things that someone somewhere wants you to get done. You drop your phone onto your chest. Now isn’t the time to be thinking about this. You should be enjoying these final moments before you are forced to confront the real world.

You roll around, trying to find the most comfortable position you can. As soon as you find it, you wriggle into another position again, afraid that if you are left there you will fall all the way back to sleep, rather than hovering in this state. You repeat this cycle a few times before it is broken by the return of your alarm. You reach for your phone to silence the alarm. You can’t keep living in this limbo.
 

                  

 

Go back to sleep
 
The alarm turned off with a click. A few taps on the phone screen later, and the phone was ringing. Someone on the other end picks up, and you begin to cough.

“Yeah, I’m not going to make it today… yeah, totally bed ridden… I should be in tomorrow… thanks, bye.” They bought it. You fall back into the embrace of your sheets. You stay there all day, unmoving.

The next day, everyone you know asks you how you are and you give some wrote response about feeling better, but somehow you are just as tired as ever. They tell you about what you missed. The little details that you hadn’t even thought about while you lay there yesterday, contemplating what the day could hold for you and the little accidents that you can’t plan for. Left to thinking of all the things that you missed.

As glad as you were for the extra sleep, you wish you had of just gotten up and faced the world.
 
Get up

You hit the button and reluctantly pull yourself out of bed. You begin the ritual you go through every morning, trying to truly wake up and face the day. You take a shower, the warmth of the water flowing over you. You down a cup of coffee a little too fast and slightly burn your tongue.

You grab couple of pieces of toast as you rush out the door and into the morning.

By the time all if this is done, you’ve forgotten any internal struggle you were having as you first woke. Eventually, you get through all you had to do and more and find yourself once again at the precipice of sleep. But now your struggle is the opposite. You would rather do anything but sleep. There is always too much to do, there is just too much to experience.